Even though I spent a part of my life drenched in the brawls of my parents, the sun shone upon us when we least expected and life finally found its balance. Coming back to this present day with a smirk on my face, I have spent years asking myself what the problem was? Why did father and mother attack each other like enemies? But today, just standing in front of my parents as they are mushy and loving to each other, I find my answers; the end to a war and the silence to a storm.
There is no doubting the fact that it is reasonable for a couple to have arguments once in a while but when it gets to the extent whereby one is hurting the other, it should no longer be considered reasonable. Just as it is commonly said “Two heads are better one”, this should be applicable in every marriage as well. Learning from mother’s experience, there are several things that makes any woman, a woman of now.
God created the woman so that she can be a help mate to the man and the only way this can be achieved is by being able to support the man in every aspect of his life because behind every great man is a woman. A modern woman is a Career and Family woman, she must be able to balance both appropriately.
A career woman has the financial liberty, which makes it possible for her to support the husband, and a Family woman is a woman that can manage her home in such a way that every member of her family is not cheated on. The question that is asked by a lot of people is: ‘How can a wife or mother be a career woman and a home maker at the same time? There are several ways this can be achieved because if my mother can do it then anyone can. The woman has to first know which is her priority – Family, she should be able to balance work with the home, devout time to spend with her family, know what goes on in the home and in the life of her husband as well as child, also give equal attention to her home and work. A woman who is able to do this helps to reduce the pressure that will be on the man when it comes to responsibilities because during the period of time the man is under pressure, it is the wife he is going to lash it out on. With how unpredictable the labor market is, the wife can assist the husband in the case of job loss.
For a housewife in this modern day, she is mostly seen as a burden because everything is on the man including the satisfaction of personal needs. I remember one time a family friend called my mother to borrow her some money despite the fact that her husband is wealthy, her reason being that she had to wait till her husband gives her money. A full-time housewife is usually depressed and she exposes her family to many crisis, apart from the woman being depressed, it also leads to adultery because I have heard a lot of women give the excuse of “if I had something to do or if I was at work, I would not have done it in the first place”, although this can be considered an implausible excuse, it can happen simply because when a woman is bored and she has a bored neighbor, the unexpected happens. In the case where the husband losses his job, the children are exposed to the street, the husband becomes aggressive, which leads to the battering of the woman (the woman might be abused by her husband). There are some men, who would rather have a full-time housewife than a career and family woman, yes of course, there are but I can assure you that when the going gets tough, these men will get going on to a woman can help them in the area their wives are failing (not all men). As a woman, we have as much right as the men do and it is our choice to either work or not, so if your husband asks you to quit your job, make him see reasons why having or keeping your job is important to sustain the family.
My mother, this woman now is absolutely blessed and a true definition of a superwoman because I still cannot comprehend how she was able to survive and make it this far, how she has been able to keep her home and job, how she has gained respect from father and his family but I do know for sure that she set her priorities straight, went for her goals, balanced her career and home properly. Any woman that can do all that is the one we should call ‘This Woman Now’.