21st Century: Love & Sex E03.

This third episode contains the thoughts and bravery of a teenager who still believes strongly in love and that love does not imply adulterated sex. It speaks on the issues this generation has with understanding the meaning, importance, need for love and the appropriate time sex should be applied in a relationship.

Now let me tell you about Adanna; on our first date I watched her sway her hips from side to side, she giggled at my silly jokes and ran her fingers through her natural curly hair almost every 5 seconds, she made sure her breasts were exposed to the sun and her face brushed with the finest colors on the pallet, did I mention her skin?  Oily and fine. I was in love at my first gaze, I kept trying to keep direct contact with her eyes but each time her eyes met up with mine I would drift away almost immediately. To think I had spent my entire summer chatting with a lady so beautiful and I still had not gathered enough courage to just be myself around her.

We had discussed about our future together, the names we would give our kids and I had no issue giving her money as she was just the right woman I dreamt about as a little kid.  Adanna’s dress; a lavender colored silk dress, tight and a few centimeters above her knees, I was truly aroused by this woman. I took her out to the finest place I could afford in Lagos city and all I could do was hope she was impressed by my standard, she talked and laughed, YES!!! I had succeeded at making her happy and when the moon started revealing itself I invited her over, we made love and I gave her some money just to make her know that I was serious with her and I would take good care of her.

Adanna left my house that evening making it clear that “We are nothing serious, it is just sex and I should not mistake it for love, thank you for the money and the food but I am married Kareem…this is the 21st century we are living in.Kareem believed in love, he described Adanna with so much passion and love in his heart but Adanna felt the opposite.

After such an experience, Kareem then sees things from Adanna’s perspective and the never ending cycle goes on and on. So how do we put a stop to the belief that there is nothing like Love anymore because love does exist!

Speaking about Love and sex, these are topics which tend to pop up in most of my recent conversations with friends and people in general, I’ve never been too comfortable discussing sex as I once viewed it as raw and unnecessary, but I realized that while I’m running from something which is quickly catching up to me why not discuss it then?.

We grow older every year and I’m at my last phase of being a teenager, I really think now is the time to talk about it and discuss with people. I do not believe in defining Love because clearly God is love and love is God. He made the greatest gift to us, which is his love, so how then can we define love without putting him first? Can you truly love a person if you do not know God? Can you sacrifice a part of yourself if it will help another person grow? I’ve heard Love is unconditional, kind, patient, warm, understanding, free, and happy.

How can you love without fears? Fear of losing the very person that brings you happiness; learning to give yourself away totally. No one teaches a mother to love yet she stays up all night praying for you, No one teaches the stranger on the road to dip his hands in his pocket to give to the beggars on the streets. He sees your flaws yet he accepts you, he knew you would sin yet he died for you. This then is my definition of Love, which is why when I hear young men misusing the word I get irritated, I mean do they even know what love is?

Sex on the other hand I believe is a sacred act which should be done amongst married couples. Call me old school but that’s my believe. I mean it’s only natural for you to want more than hugs and kisses, but if you truly love each other you will make each other wait until the right time. People see me and ask me “why are you waiting till marriage?” In fact I have gotten all sorts of questions. And a lot of people have shared their views and thoughts on it but I think presently the world is misshaped we are brainwashed to believe in the negative and forget the ultimate law which was given to us by our creator. Now you’ll find kids indulging in sex and telling each other how much they love and adore one and another. You will be watching Disney channel, which is meant to be for kids but a lot of adult activities are being portrayed for and by the children, now everybody believes sex is for everybody. NO! Sex isn’t for everybody.

The 21st century entertainment industry has ruined the definition of love. Love is now a word used to get what we want from naïve minds, love is a word used to describe the urge we feel when we want something. Love, Love, Love, Love! But when you see a man act so rude towards a waiter, or a man murder his wife over a minute conflict or a man murder his entire family for fame, or a man rape a young child. When you see terrorists, thieves, assassins, politicians, fake drugs, fake hospitals, fake Pastors, you begin to wonder WHERE IS THE LOVE? Who gave man such power over sex that now he determines to look at children lustfully, or rape his sister just to satisfy that urge. We have misused a lot of terms and words in our world today and just by flipping through the pages of newspapers or by listening to the tales of our fellow men you realize that the love is diminishing on earth.

Now everyone links love to sex for the wrong reasons, but yes they are intertwined. “I love her so I must sleep with her to show her how I feel about her”, “he loves me but I am sorry its only sex and His money I am after’’.

Everyone is after something forgetting the true meaning of these terms and why we were given freewill. You see organizations trying to promote the use of condoms, birth controls, postinol etc. why not make us see the reasons why we should abstain from the start and not even indulge in such activities? Why not promote love among friends and siblings through giving and traits. The saddest part is I’ve heard my friends say love doesn’t exist anymore, why are we wasting time and saying no sex till marriage what if he doesn’t satisfy you in the end, no love without sex” etc. and its just sad! If the youths and kids who are the leaders of tomorrow no longer believe love exists then the world is already coming to an end.

Photo Credit: The naked convos.

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