Christian Relationship & Dating: Addressing Two Fallacies.

“It’s really almost impossible to court and maintain a Christian relationship!”

Dating used to be easier than this, now it just seems almost impossible, we ask ourselves daily how do we really get to know each other in the way God wants us to and the way he has directed us to. There are probably several scriptures highlighting this when we look through the Bible but to be frank I don’t think it’s that impossible. We just need to strike a balance and know where to draw the line. Deep in your heart you know what’s right and what’s appropriate, even God says he has put his laws in our hearts, so as Christians we are to curb certain things.

A relationship is not an access card to fornicate but just merely grounds to build something beautiful which would hopefully yield more fruits gradually and it’s definitely not impossible to court and also grow spiritually with your partner! First things first, to call someone a partner or a boyfriend/ girlfriend you both must agree on certain things.

  1. Be equally yoked:

    For me I think it’s important for there to be symmetry when it comes to the spiritual aspect of both partners. If I am a firm believer in Christ, I really have no business trying to balance a relationship with the opposite sex who believes in another religion. Most people do this in the name of “I will hopefully change him/her or with time he will worship the same God I serve”. But, I am of the opinion that regardless, before you start dating a person, discuss and agree on a list of things. That’s the easiest way to make a relationship work spiritually! A lot of people will probably disagree with me in this aspect but I have come to realize and see the significance of there being a balance between love and religion. That’s just my perspective of things and I have noticed this through different marriages around me. Love is never really enough. So, it’s better to curb or release certain things that will probably add more issues to the start of something beautiful (Amos 3:3; 2 Corinthians 6:14).

  2.  Help each other spiritually, grow together

    : Helping your partner grow spiritually will add to making the journey enjoyable. Pray together, study the word together and just make things interesting. Most millennials now just depend solely on sexual activities to spice up their relationships and when the sexual desires die the relationship gradually halts. Simply because there’s no love without sex for them. But, if you both grow spiritually you will find more interesting things to lean on to even without really thinking about the sexual aspect of things (Colossians 4:2).

On A Lighter Note

You really should not speak about something if you have no understanding of it. I believe most people refuse to even try out certain things but are quick to point out how boring something they haven’t even tried is. It’s a gradual process. No one is saying you should not have a spicy and fun filled relationship, its healthy if you do but just as I mentioned earlier just know when to draw the line. There are fun stuff Christian couples do together, carry out your research. God is not boring and if God is not boring, you also are not boring. You don’t need to carry a Bible around to do evangelism. There are interesting games, life changing discussions and outings Christian couples can engage in which will not lead back to sin. But, in totality it takes two Christians who really want to live for God and operate by his standards of courtship to really do it successfully. There will be bumps and temptations but with time and God’s grace daily it will become easy. It starts with the mind and the content we fuel it with so as Christians we should ensure we focus on God’s word and daily ask Him for guidance.


Photo Credit: Josh Willink.

2 Replies to “Christian Relationship & Dating: Addressing Two Fallacies.”

  1. Wow… beautifully written. God bless you ma’am.
    *Relationship is not an access card to fornicate.* This got me.
    More grace and wisdom!

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