Good Conversationalist.

Dear Bibiana,

            I noticed that I tend to argue a lot because I presumed I knew a few things. Even things I was not sure of because of Critical thinking, I could argue still and get it right. I tried to stop but especially when I am with my cousin, he brings up wrong issues and I always tend to correct him. Like sometimes I might not know so much. It began to feel like I knew more than them and whatever they said was incorrect. But, in areas where I did not know anything at all like football, I would just stay silent because logic cannot be applied there. It is so bad that even prophetic things are sometimes analyzed by me. I wish I never desired reading and all. I have tried to stop but I keep getting myself in it every time. What can I do?



It is indeed a good thing you are already aware of what the problem is. So, it makes it even easier to get over it. I have been in situations similar to yours.

Subconsciously, your brain has been trained to be critical. In other words, you feel the need or desire to analyze every situation or idea to the last detail until your brain has reached its satisfaction and resting point. However, it takes self-consciousness and self-control to overcome it. You have to learn how to talk yourself out of it and be aware of your action whenever you engage yourself in conversations or discussions or in the moment you find yourself in the presence of God.

It will not be easy because it’s now a part of who you are but there are some conscious steps to take. And they require effort and consistency because you have to rewire the habit to its opposite. The steps that I took and habit that I cultivated to help get myself out of over-analysis or excess criticism are:

  • Learn to be more of listener
  • Talk yourself out of it
  • Take notes – whatever analysis you come up with, instead of immediately criticizing, write them down.
  • Turn it into a fun research.
  • Consider more than one perspective – try as much as possible not to view ideas or situations from only your perspective. Look at it from different angles, in different ways and opinions from experts.
  • Ask questions only when necessary.
  • Knowledge is vast. Know what to filter in or out.
  • Do your own research.
  • Know when and when not to criticize.
  • Seek the face of God
  • Trust the holy spirit to help confirm the prophesies to you by himself
  • Trust in God.

In relation to the aspect of reading, do not stop desiring to do so. I am a huge lover of books and reading. I know and understand the importance of books. Reading is important both intellectually and spiritually. Wisdom is and will always be the principal thing. And without knowledge, how do you become wise?

Also, the bible says in gaining wisdom and knowledge, we should gain understanding.


P. S: For clarity and further questions, drop your questions or statements in the comment box below the post. All the best Saint!

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