I close my eyes as I slowly breathe in the gust of wind while reminiscing on the past when the days were rough and the veil was torn, with Father and Mother’s backs clashing with each other. The journey does not start the way we expect it, for some they have to struggle and crawl their way out of life’s hassle just like mother.
Before she became this admirable, strong, independent and family woman, she had to stand strong and fight for what people now refer to as a ‘Modern Woman’.
At a very tender age, mother got married to a youth corper because her parents wanted her to be one before they passed on to another life. When her parents died, she was devastated and needed support from her husband but she got none. Mother still stayed strong even though all she received from the marriage at that point in time were insults hurled at her and nothing but shame because she came from a background poorer than father’s and his family had no respect for her simply because they saw her as an ordinary wife who was opportune to be married to father but mother had a goal buried on the inside of her.
Even while she was trying to find her stand in her own marriage, she produced three children for father. Father was just an ordinary taxi driver who owned a supermarket that flourished for a while because he put a member of his family in charge of the supermarket, who ensured that father did not reap from his labor and mother starved. Whenever, father was raging with anger, he will pounce on mother chasing her like ‘Cat and Dog’. Ahhh! How mother suffered for trying to be father’s help mate.
Finally, mother got an admission into the university, the same time she carried me in her womb, to help herself through school, she will go from one student’s room to the other helping them to wash their undies and clothes; she had no shame because she knew her goal in life. Mother brought me, her last child into the world when she was about to enter into 200 level, so I grew up in a world where father and mother were separated even though in reality they were together.
Years later, mother got a job in a Corporate Organization, father had become more matured and peace reigned in our home; my siblings and I were also grown ups too. At first, when mother got the job, father would complain that she had no time for the family or that he did not like the job. But I knew somewhere deep down that mother had gotten to a point in her life where nothing could tear her down or stop her from achieving her goals in life.
After complaining severally with mother’s mind not changed, father let her be. It was later he understood the necessity of mother’s job, which was the period when the economy changed and Nigeria became Nigeria. Mother supported the family and decisions made were no longer done in monologue but in dialogue, also father’s family began to respect her when they found out that they could also benefit from her.
One day, the Landlord of the apartment we lived in gave us a ‘Quit-notice’- that we had a year to move out of the place. Father was on the verge of looking for another rented apartment, while mother saved up for us to move into our house. After she had enough, she called father and told him that they should buy a land to build on it instead of moving into another rented apartment; father was reluctant but after much thought, he agreed. It was at this moment that our real journey as a family started.
Photo Credit: Unsplash.